Nets are having a Moment right now. A more elegant tool of an ancient age, the humble net gains new utility when slung below a police drone, or when packed into a launcher and fired at a would-be assailant.

This net-gun is purportedly the Super Talon Ultra Net Launcher Kit by Bird B Gone, which retails on Amazon for $2000. There, it’s listed as a tool for “use in warehouses, food storage areas, big box stores, storage facilities, airports, train stations, aviaries, boat docks, animal clinics, marinas, outdoors and anywhere else that nuisance birds are a problem”. It’s “great for pigeons, starlings, crows, geese, swans, doves, feral cats and dogs, coyotes, raccoons, opossums, squirrels or any small wildlife or birds.”

In the video paired with the Amazon listing, it appears entirely as a tool for young women to trap ski-masked assailants, right in time for police to arrive with special person-holding sticks. Weird, and likely only possible thanks to the hammy acting of the set-up. Net guns have long been employed as an anti-bird weapon, and are recently entering a sort of vogue as an anti-drone tool. Birds and drones, not masked armed men, are the appropriate targets for a net-gun.

And it would take more than just a good net-gun to gain Spiderman-like abilities. To truly become a wall-crawling web-slinger, we’ll need a complete change in the laws of physics.

Watch below: