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We’ve looked at literally thousands of deals during the last two days of this Prime Day shopping holiday. While we want to share all the good ones, sometimes they end up lingering in open tabs. That seems like a shame. So, here’s a random assortment of deals I still had open on my computer. They run the gamut from practical and handy to fun and irresponsible. You’re welcome, and I’m sorry.
Sure, $140 sounds like a lot for a blanket, but it was $200. Plus, it’s made by Yeti (makers of some of the best coolers and water bottles), so you could probably share it with a grizzly bear on your next camping trip, and it would still come out unharmed. You would be dead, though. Sorry.
Sony WH-1000XM5 Wireless Industry Leading Headphones $328 (Was $399)
This isn’t a joke entry. These are really good headphones, and I’m just surprised they’re still on sale and didn’t sell out.
Have you ever tried one of these? It’s the closest thing to a video game heal potion you can get in real life. Running is still a waking nightmare for me, but these are fruity and salty and ease the horrible pain in my body.
Waterpik Cordless Advanced Water Flosser For Teeth, Gums $54 (Was $100)
These basically sell themselves. All I have to do is remind you that there’s probably a little bit of popcorn or pot roast hanging out in your teeth right now. Gross. This little baby will blast it right out of there. They’ll call you Mr. Cleanmouth.
Look, you have to choose between these and the Nuun hydration things above. You can’t be that hydrated. You don’t want to risk becoming … moist.
JBL Charge 5 Portable Wireless Bluetooth Speaker $119 (Was $179)
Despite its smaller-than-a-football size, this Bluetooth speaker will blast Slayer for up to 20 hours on a charge. Just ask my neighbor. Actually, don’t ask him because he gets all “get off my property or I’m going to call the cops” too quickly.
Premier Protein Shake, Cake Batter, 30g Protein $20.99 (Was $29.99)
You know these don’t taste that much like cake, but they taste more like cake than your typical protein shake and that should be good enough for your precious little taste buds. Ronnie Coleman drank raw eggs, so these are like a vacation.
Force Factor Total Beets Drink Mix Superfood Powder $12.99 (Was $19)
If you put powdered beets on all your food, you can make your poop dark red. It probably does other stuff, too, but the poop thing is pretty good.
Logitech G920 Driving Force Racing Wheel and Floor Pedals $199 (Was $299)
Some people like to race with a racing wheel. I like to fire up a driving simulation game, throw in a virtual Kenny Loggins tape, and cruise with the top down as the virtual wind blows my digital hair in every direction.
Philips Soup and Smoothie Maker $85 (Was $150)
I have no idea how this thing works, but it looks like it’s from a futuristic sci-fi show and smoothies at the smoothie place are like $9 now, so I’ll try anything to make them more affordable.
GE Profile Opal 1.0 Nugget Ice Maker with Side Tank $229 (Was $429)
This is it. This is the good ice. It’s the Sonic ice. It makes everything you drink into a delightful little treat. Yes, it’s expensive, but it’s absolutely worth it.
If you kill every plant you try to grow, this automated garden setup is a great alternative to actually learning anything about plants or how to take care of them.
23andMe+ Premium Membership Bundle $118 (Was $229)
Your DNA results are really fascinating to you and extremely boring to everyone else, so if you buy this, you have to promise that you’ll enjoy the results without torturing your friends with long explanations about your family history.
MAGNA-TILES Classic 100-Piece Magnetic Construction Set $82 (Was $119)
I was going to put LEGO sets in here, but the deals all sold out. These are sorta like LEGOs; only they’re magnetic and triangular. They also won’t send a shooting agony through your whole body if you step on one.
Original Bunch O Balloons Tropical Party 330+ Rapid-Filling Self-Sealing Water Balloons $17 (Was $24)
Spend five minutes filling up all these water balloons, then spend hours obliterating your friends and family to ensure that you’re never invited to another family function ever again.
OK, no joke about this one. This is actually really handy and may save your butt in an emergency. Get one and keep it charged for when the grid goes down, or when you want to hide behind the garage and play your Switch for 11 hours instead of doing chores.
NordicTrack Select-a-Weight Adjustable Dumbbells $295 (Was $350)
Did you know there are more than a dozen types of curls you can do for your biceps? You can do all of them with these adjustable weights. You can exercise other muscles, too, but why?
Polaroid Now+ Black w/B&W Film Pack $108 (Was $166)
Bring a Polaroid camera to a party and you’ll be instantly popular. That only lasts until you run out of film, of course. Then you go back to being that “weird guy who took home a bunch of other people’s shoes after the last party.” Bring lots of film.
Marshall Stanmore II Wireless Bluetooth Speaker $189 (Was $379)
This is the coolest-looking Bluetooth speaker you can buy. You can fully pretend you’re a rockstar with it. No practice necessary.
Grandma’s Cookies Variety Pack of 30 $13 (Was $16)
Yeah, we’re going to eat 30 bags of cookies. Remember all that healthy stuff from the top of the list? We deserve something sweet. Maybe we’ll put beet powder all over them.
Casaphoria XXXLarge Cotton Rope Basket for Living Room $19 (Was $29)
Hahahahahahahahaaha. Look how big this hamper is. “Oh, you’re looking for the remote? Why don’t you look over by the decorative Dumpster-sized fabric basket that’s in my living room for some reason …”
Neakasa by neabot P1 Pro Pet Grooming Kit & Vacuum Suction 99% Pet Hair, Professional Grooming Clippers $104 (Was $149)
There’s a roughly 80% chance you’ll mess up your dog and make it look hilarious with this vacuum-based grooming kit. But the groomer is expensive, and that’s a risk we’re willing to run.
Igloo BMX 72 Quart Cooler with Cool Riser Technology $118 (Was $179)
This is actually a great cooler, but I put it on this list because it kinda looks like a loot box from a futuristic video game. Imagine diving in and getting a Truly while pretending to shoot it out with aliens.
Amazon Basics Cooling Elevated Dog Bed $23 (Was $28)
This is a dog hammock. Your dog wants a hammock. You want to see your dog in a hammock. We want the money we get if you buy the dog hammock from that link. Everybody wins.
Greenworks Pro 80V 21-Inch Brushless Self-Propelled Lawn Mower $439 (Was $549)
Electric lawnmowers are great for elderly people because they start with a simple button-press and the self-propelled mechanism makes them easy to push. Give gramps the gift of getting out there and mowing the lawn.
JOOLA Ben Johns Pickleball Set with 2 Fiberglass Paddles $60 (Was $80)
The New York Times recently published an article about how everyone is really annoyed by Pickleball because it’s too loud. You could be that loud annoying person if you buy this kit.
Some barbecue purists talk smack about pellet cookers. Let them talk while you eat a delicious pulled pork you made while lying on the couch watching Max or whatever HBO’s app is called next.
SINGER | Heavy Duty 4452 Sewing Machine $176 (Was $219)
Don’t buy new clothes. Just learn how to sew and fix the old ones. Or, make the state pageant costume you always really wanted back in grade school. You could truly become Oregon.
If you’re into science and tech, you must go through a 3D printing phase. It’s mandatory. You might as well get it out of the way and save some money while you do.