Bionic Dick Cheney Technically Has No Pulse

Former VP Dick Cheney has gone bionic. During a recent heart surgery, doctors implanted a ventricular assist device to augment Cheney's failing ticker. But it also gives his critics another punchline to work with; because the device moves blood continuously, it doesn't mimic the pulsating rhythm of the heartbeat. Technically speaking, Dick Cheney no longer has a pulse. Insert Darth Vader comparisons here.