Don’t misunderstand: we’re Star Wars fans all year round. We’ve included Star Wars swag in several stories over the past couple months—ice cube trays, salt and pepper shakers, board games—but on May the Fourth, we let ourselves geek out a bit … less … subtly.
And so we’re taking this opportunity to go all in on buyables that are, one could say, cool as a dead star.
A not-dinky lightsaber
Ultrasaber Jason Lederman/Popular Science
I’ve always wanted a “real” lightsaber—not one of those plastic three-sectioned toys, but rather the kind that lights up and makes epic sounds upon impact. I went ahead and built one using Ultrasaber. Truthfully, the 18-step design process felt a bit tedious. You answer a long list of questions, choosing your hilt and color of the lightsaber (bellicose and blue, respectively), as well as the material of the blade, whether you want a long or short pommel, the battery type, and the sound card model. The process takes about 25 minutes. It was worth it.
I underestimated how much I cared about the lightsaber sounds. It comes with a few generic options, as well as sound effects from Episodes I, II, and VI. A detail I also really love is that the power button lights up to match your blade. It brings a sense of realness when I’m pretending to fight a Sith Lord. Note: The sword lights up all at once instead of from the bottom to the top, which was a little disappointing. That doesn’t stop me from wanting a second one, though. Then we could have a proper duel.
And glasses! Etsy
This laser-engraved glass Star Wars whiskey decanter can hold 500 milliliters of spirits. It comes with six glasses, though the seller takes custom orders. Here are some tunes to play while you’re pouring. $20+.
Plush porg doll
Hello I need this. Think Geek
Wouldn’t you love to have a Porg in your house at all times? With three AA batteries, this 10-inch plush doll moves its mouth, flutters its wings, and makes three Porg sounds. $20.
LANDO! LANDO! LANDO! Think Geek
The Solo movie is right around the corner, and in it Donald Glover plays Lando. That’s all the reason you need to snag this shirt to wear to the theater. It’s a Think Geek exclusive. $20.
A Leia T-shirt
She’s got a Death Star balloon. Etsy
There can be no May the Fourth without Carrie Fisher. This cotton T-shirt comes in silver and Seafoam blue. $23.
Star Wars planters
Millennium Falcon + succulent. Etsy
These Millennium Falcon planters are made with gypsum plaster and enamel paint, require no soil, and measure 7 inches tall, 5 inches wide, and 3/4 of an inch thick. There are three plant placement options and eight colors to choose from. Care instructions sent with the planters. $24.
Just kidding. They’re just Band-Aids. Amazon
Honestly nothing heals a paper cut quite like a fandom. Remember how much you loved Star Wars Band-Aids as a kid? $5.
Dapper Ewok shirt
Suitable for the office. Etsy
Where my Ewok fans at? Let the Ewok look dapper for you so you can relax in a soft cotton shirt. $20.
Millennium Falcon multi-tool
It’s like a Swiss Army knife but less useful and more Start Wars. Amazon
Have no fear if your X-wing is on the fritz. The multi-tool comes with four hex keys, a flat-head screwdriver, a Phillips-head screwdriver, and an adjustable wrench. All of the tools fit neatly into the ship’s body. $30.
This handmade Stormtrooper pillowcase is a non-cheesy way to integrate more Star Wars into your decor. It is made off 100 percent spun polyester poplin fabric, has a concealed zipper, and comes in five sizes (16-inches-square is standard). This is just the case; the pillow itself is not included. $48.
Cereal tastes better in a bowl inspired by a franchise of your childhood. This set of four melamine bowls resembles R2-D2. Unfortunately, they are not dishwasher or microwave safe. $9.
Star Wars vinyl wall clock
This would look cool on any wall in your house. Or every wall in your house. Amazon
What time is it? Time to get a 12-inch Death Star vinyl wall clock. It runs on a single AA battery. $18.
Star Wars-branded bathroom humor
This one is … less classy. Etsy
OK so maybe this one is not, like, Fred Astaire levels of classy, but, hey, the force protected Chirrut Imwe, so why couldn’t it protect your bathroom floor too? $9.
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