It's basically a portable centrifuge. It works like this: (Note: step 1 has been omitted because we trust you to figure this out yourself.) You put a small sample of your semen into a disposable cartridge and attach the cartridge to the base. The base spins the cartridge like a little propeller, and the semen separates out into its component parts. The isolated sperm fills a visible chamber, like mercury in a thermometer, and marks on the cartridge tell you whether you've got an optimal, moderate, or low sperm count. The device also pairs with a smartphone app, allowing you to track your sperm levels over time and compare your results with population stats. Just remember, it's not a competition!