To tip the average cow, which is about five feet tall, would require around 654 pounds of force, Boechler found. Assuming a 150-pound "athlete" can push his own body weight, the equivalent of 4.36 people would be needed to take down one cow. With some adjustments (such as binding the cow's legs together, to adjust weight distribution and the crucial pivot point), fewer people would be required, but that's also assuming the cow doesn't wake up and trot away. Although Boechler
hasn't made it out into the field to test her calculations, she is confident about her conclusion: One drunken fool would be no match for a car-size animal, no matter how top-heavy it seems. So the next time you're looking for post-libationary adventure, you'd best bring along at least four buddies. Or better yet, why not just leave the beasts in peace?