Fourteen gifts for the hypochondriac in your life

From my disease-fearing brain to yours.

hypochondriac
10 disease-fighting gifts every hypochondriac needs.Pixabay

We all have that friend who’s convinced their headache is a malignant brain tumor, whose chest pain must be a heart attack, whose slightly infected cut is almost certainly gangrene. In my circle of friends, I’m that person. I once convinced myself that the moderate dizziness I felt after scuba diving was a life-threatening case of the bends (and almost didn’t believe the ER doctor when he told me it was just water in my inner ears). Here’s a gift guide that all my fellow hypochondriacs will appreciate.

Rapid Thermometer

Withings Thermo thermometer
The Withings ThermoWithings

A significant increase in body temperature means there’s some type of immune response happening, whether it’s from an infection or an autoimmune reaction. Either way, it’s a good indicator that something could be going wrong in your body. The Withings Thermo can detect that change in body temperature in just about two seconds. It’s small enough to fit in your purse, on your desk at work, or by your nightstand, so you can be armed to detect disaster wherever you go.

The Complete Manual Of Things That Might Kill You

The Complete Manual Of Things That Might Kill You

The hypochondriac's dream bookKnock Knock

Who needs a doctor when you can diagnose yourself at home? The Complete Manual Of Things That Might Kill You is catered specifically to a hypochondriac’s needs: It specializes in obscure, hard-to-pronounce diseases that you tooooooootally have. From gastroparesis to polycythemia, this book has got you covered.

black light urine finder

Urine Finder

A black lightAmazon

Black lights—those lights that emit ultraviolet light—can quickly become a favorite tool in the hands of the right hypochondriac. When ultraviolet light shines, a number of everyday materials absorb that light and reflect it back. These materials include bodily fluids like urine and blood. If you have that friend who is obsessed with keeping their bathroom clean or is perpetually fearful that the family pet has peed somewhere in the house, this little high-tech flashlight can be a big help.

Gray's Anatomy

A Complete Guide To Human Anatomy

A hypochondriac's coffee table bookAmazon

We all love “Grey’s Anatomy.” But let’s face it, so many of those medical scenarios are far from reality. The shows namesake, on the other hand, originally published in 1858 and written by Henry Gray, is a complete and accurate description of the complexities of human body. It will inform you of every single artery and ligament inside you, and is far from a light read.

A Health and Ancestry Kit 23andMe

A Health and Ancestry Kit

23andMeAmazon

Knowing they aren’t a carrier for all those rare diseases they think they might have could put your friend at ease. Plus, they will surely appreciate knowing what muscle types they have most of, whether they are a deep or light sleeper, and how their bodies handle caffeine.

ErgoErgo An active sitting desk chair

An active sitting desk chair

ErgoErgoAmazon

Neither sitting nor standing for long periods of time are that great for your health, as your hypochondriac friend is likely fully aware. This moveable seat forces users to use their muscles to sit up rather than resting them on the back of the chair, all the while engaging their core and allowing the spine to form its natural curve.

Plush microbes

Plush microbes

Giant MicrobesGiant Microbes

From E. coli to athlete’s foot, the Giant Microbes company has almost every infectious disease your friend ever thought they had. The contagions aren’t so scary when they come in bright-colored plushes.

A pill-shaped pillow

A pill-shaped pillow

Peking HandicraftAmazon

Sometimes sleep really is the best medicine. Studies show that a good night’s sleep (that’s about eight hours for adults, according to science) keeps our bodies working best. The pill shape will help remind your worried friend that the cure might be some simple Zzzs.

Mattress Guard

Mattress Guard

Say no to bed bugs!Hospitology

It’s what you can’t see (or feel) that always gets you. Bedbugs can happen to anyone, and the worst part of it all is that they’re small enough to easily evade even obsessive cleaners. But have no fear. This mattress protector ensures that bedbugs can’t make their home inside your home, giving you peace of mind as you sleep.

Sonicare DiamondClean Toothbrush

Cavity-Fighter

Sonicare DiamondClean toothbrushSonicare

Every time you eat something, there’s a chance that food, candy, or acid can get stuck on, in, or between your teeth. Once it’s there, bacteria immediately start feeding on it, plaque builds up, and a cavity can form. And if you’re like me, that cavity-building process is perpetually on your mind. The Sonicare DiamondClean toothbrush fights back by allegedly getting rid of seven times more plaque than manually-powered brushes. A gift of this toothbrush means one less disease for the recipient to worry about.

eyeglass chart

Test Your Vision At Home

Vision Test appFlickr user Les Black

This app is free, but it’s the thought that counts. Available for Apple devices, the Vision Test app gives you various eye exams (including ones that test for color blindness and astigmatism) that you can take regularly to track your eyesight. It also has an optician finder—so once you’ve unearthed a problem, you can seek out an eye doctor to properly diagnose you.

What's Your Poo Telling You

Poop Health

What's Your Poo Telling You?Chronicle Books LLC

Poop can be one of the most important (and easily recognizable) indicators of your health. And thanks to this book, you don’t need to see a doctor to help you interpret it. Written by a gastroenterologist, What’s Your Poo Telling You? provides a complete guide to what the color, consistency, and frequency of your poop says about your health.

Withings wireless blood pressure monitor

A Wireless Blood Pressure Monitor

Track your blood pressureWithings

Blood pressure is an excellent indicator of health. But sometimes the readings taken at your doctor’s office are misleading: Being nervous and anxious typically raises your blood pressure in a phenomenon known as white-coat syndrome. This wireless blood pressure monitor lets you get readings in the comfort of your own home. It sends them to an app where you can track your progress and save your results. So the next time you go to the doctor, you can show them the more accurate readings.

Bacteria Zapping Air Purifier

Molekule air purifier
MolekuleMolekule

Home air purifiers are designed to trap bacteria, allergens, and pollutants from air in your home so that you don’t breath them in. But most home purifiers just end up getting them stuck in the filter, and they eventually escape. Molekule works differently: Instead of trapping the particles, it zaps and annihilates them so there’s no chance of them escaping. Take a closer look at our description of the Molekule, which we included in our Best Of What’s New products for this year.

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