Let This Robot Write An Employee Farewell Letter For You

"P.S. Alvaro, you still owe me a drink for that thing, okay?"

Flickr/ annstanley59

Ah, the employee goodbye letter. Sentimental, all-encompassing, and most importantly, time-consuming. You only get one shot and the people you're directing this letter to are human beings you've spent family-levels of time around. Better nail it! Or just automate it.

When serial bot-maker and artist Darius Kazemi, whose favored medium is semi-scripted software unleashed on Twitter or other sites, was leaving his job, he created a farewell letter automaton for his co-workers. Here are a couple examples:

To My Esteeemed Colleagues, I'm not very good at this kind of stuff so I guess I'll get right to the point. Due to family obligations, I need to move across the country. Fortunately, Mississauga Productions had a position open for an animal breeder and I'll be starting there soon. Working with each and every one of you has been one of the best experiences of my life. I couldn't have asked for a better group of colleagues and friends. It's been so great working with you. I can't imagine a better group of coworkers. To Viva and Roberto -- I'm happy to continue to provide career advice. Anyone is welcome to find me on LinkedIn or Facebook and stay in touch! I guess this gem from Skinny Puppy's classic song "Anger" really sums it up: Anger thought so no thought touched inside crazy Goodbye, Chanell Molen

A once in a lifetime animal breeding position.

Dear Coworkers, It's probably time I informed you that Friday will be my last day at Inscription Productions. Due to family obligations, I need to move across the country. Fortunately, DiscriminationCo had a position open for a detective and I'll be starting there soon. During these last 3 years you've taught me everything there is to know about being a detective. I couldn't have asked for a better group of colleagues and friends. It's been so great working with you. I can't imagine a better group of coworkers. I look forward to keeping in touch with you all. Sincerely, Twanna Teagues P.S. Those dirty dishes in the kitchen? They were MINE.

Try it out here.