Ladies Without Pants And Other Mildly Horrifying Highlights From CES 2013

Also: a guy who says he can cure your dog's aches and pains using a cell phone and extraterrestrial technology. Holy crap, we love CES.

Each year, we attend CES in Las Vegas with the goal of bringing you the best, most innovative new products. And then there’s everything else. The inexplicably tiny toilet with an iPad attached. The guy wants to cure your pet’s depression using ET tech and a cell phone. The ladies who forgot to wear pants. PhD theses could be written about the tech industry’s taste for appealing to the lowest common denominator. ‘Til then, enjoy these shots of the wackier side of CES 2013, which closed yesterday.

Extraterrestrial pet therapy

Meet Michael Uehara. He’s the director of Extraterrestrial Technology, a company that claims to cure pets’ ills with a cell phone and, yes, extraterrestrial technology. The technique can also be applied, he says, to heal bad backs, food allergies, and other human ailments. How does it work? Spoiler: It doesn’t, but if CES is good for anything, it’s this sort of delightful nonsense.

Cupcake skirt

Forget OLED. Cupcakes were the highlight of Samsung’s pre-press day party at CES.

Casio’s creepy electronic signage

One of the weirdest technologies at the show was Casio’s electronic signage, a hybrid laser/LED technology that incorporates the now-outdated DLP tech. The static image plus the moving lips and face is just creepy.

iPad-equipped training toilet

CTA Digital introduced this very unusual iPad dock, in the form of a child’s training toilet. The iPad is protected by a splash-guard, they assure us.

Fujita booth babe

We saw many, many booth babes, but few of the intergalactic Tin Man variety.

Massage pods

Remind anyone else of Invasion of the Body Snatchers?

DJ Baby Chino

DJ Baby Chino playing atop the Skullcandy Trailer outside CES. He’s 11.

$30,000 headphones

Sennheiser’s $30,000 headphones, the “world’s best.” Only 300 ever made. The steampunk-like thing is the amp, we assume, and is evidently necessary.

Man rides stationary bike in dress shirt

Might as well get some exercise to counteract all those buffet dinners.

Weird home gadget, part 1

Panasonic’s inexplicable face-steamer

Weird home gadget, part 2

Panasonic’s even more inexplicable tea kettle display

Monster Cable’s breakdancing kids

Monster Cable’s press event was INSANE. It featured, among other things: break-dancing children; male supermodel Tyson Beckford; and the CEO wheeling around on a Segway. Watch it here.

Ladies without pants

A dance troupe of models wearing no pants at all performs at a booth with, as far as I can tell, no actual products to sell. I do not recall the name of the company. At one point the lead dancer yelled “everyone clap your hands!…oh, wait, you’re all filming.” Then they continued dancing while still not wearing pants.