Situation: It's the bottom of the third with two outs when the organ stops and the announcer tells everyone to remain calm: A fast-moving outbreak of antipodean rooster pox has put the stadium under indefinite quarantine, a death sentence if ever you've heard one.
Solution: Although experts agree that masks usually can't stop you from getting a virus because the bugs are too small to filter, masks can prevent direct contact from sneeze splashes or careless coughers. Grab a heavy-cotton T-shirt from a vendor. Cut out a large rectangle of fabric, slicing two slits on each side to create ties. Place it over your nose and mouth, knotting the lowest tie under your ears and behind your head. Sharpen a stick. Poke anyone who doesn't close their mouth when they cough.

Jason Daley