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Did we just get neuralyzed?

For a few precious days this week, the scientific community vacillated between enthralled or enraged by the news that a Russian telescope picked up what seemed to be a signal beacon from outer space. Ars Technica was among the first to report the news, as a “strong signal” coming from the direction of HD164595, a star 95 light years from Earth.

Today, they were again among the first to attempt to crush our dreams by reporting on the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence Institute’s official statement on the matter: It wasn’t coming from space. The signal came from Earth, they say:

“In the framework of this program, an interesting radio signal at a wavelength of 2.7 cm was detected in the direction of one of the objects (star system HD164595 in Hercules) in 2015. Subsequent processing and analysis of the signal revealed its most probable terrestrial origin.”

There are a few possible explanations for such a swift statement from SETI:

1. The FBI is onto them, and were holding some very scared scientists hostage until they typed out this statement and sent it to the press.

2. It’s not aliens.

3. The aliens are already here, transmitting beacons to their home world. It could be the strange person next to you at the coffee shop who’s an extraterrestrial in a skin suit. It could be the pug you passed on the street. It could be Elon Musk. Oh my god, it’s Elon Musk. Trust no one.