Second Bright Spot Is Further Evidence That Ceres Is A Death Star

Clearly its planet-destroying superlaser is just firing up

Ceres’ Bright Spots

You can’t trick us, Ceres. Out there in the asteroid belt, in the dark space between Mars and Jupiter, you’ve been keeping secrets. Scientists thought your shiny white spot was probably some kind of ice or a glassy deposit from a volcanic eruption. Others said Death Star. Now it turns out your one spot is actually two, and that’s supposed to convince us Ceres is harmless? Riiight, nice try. We know the truth — that you’ve only just begun to fire up your planet-destroying multi-beam superlaser.

We’ll find out the truth when the Dawn spacecraft arrives on March 6.