Technology watchdog @internetofshit brought to our attention the Smarttress: a mattress intended, according to its inventor, to combat Spain’s terrible reputation for adultery. It incorporates an array of 24 ultrasonic sensors and a finely tuned algoritmo that reads the frequency and intensity of bouncing on its surface.

When certain telltale signs are detected — not just the cat on the bed again — a battery-powered communication module alerts the owner’s smartphone. The owner must then race home and deal with his or her marital strife firsthand, since this version of the mattress does not incorporate any remotely deployable ejection devices or other automated hanky-panky deterrents.