"This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For"

Death Star
Death Star YouTube
There has been a great disturbance in the internet, as if millions of geeky voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. The White House has denied a petition to build a Death Star.

Alas, it would've been a boon to our military defense and national pride. But at least they made a good joke about it. Here's the full response:

This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For
By Paul Shawcross

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

  • The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
  • The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
  • Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
  • However, look carefully (here's how) and you'll notice something already floating in the sky -- that's no Moon, it's a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts -- American, Russian, and Canadian -- living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We've also got two robot science labs -- one wielding a laser -- roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.

    Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo -- and soon, crew -- to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.

    Even though the United States doesn't have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we've got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we're building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.

    We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

    We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country's future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.

    If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

    Paul Shawcross is Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget

14 Comments

Excellent

That was awesome. :)

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In space, no one can hear a tree fall in the forest.

Very well communicated.

Our current Presidential Administration is excellent at making popular responses; too bad they just don't possess the ability for 'real solutions'.

But they are good at being popular! ;)

"The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000."

So they did at least look into it...

"...The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it..." ~ US Gov.

Really?! Working hard to reduce the deficit, seriously, ha ha, ROFL. I read the words, but where is the proof?

Shut up robot. This is a science news website, not a political one.

i told you guys we should have asked for the enterprise

Maklom,

If you think that was 'science news', then I've got a bridge in Brooklyn that you might want to invest in.

This is PopSci admiring the current admin for being 'oh so cool'.

Yes, the petition was misguided. But, possibly they could have just said that they did not regard it as a practical option - the 850 quadrillion was just an in your face insult.

$850,000,000,000,000,000 I bet the team that engineered the yugo could do it for half that price ;0)

Just pay a visit to the back of home depot and hire a couple mexicans, should bring the cost down to a couple fifties and a six pack of dos equis.

sorry for bein so ignorant but what da fuq is a death star??????

Just wait till one day when someone realizes that a "sphere" of a ship for deep space exploration is really an awesome design.......memories of "sputnik" anyone?...lol.....For once I wish they would let an "average" person have a stay on the space station. Like a lottery or something. Even with space exploration going private, its still to damned expensive for a regular person to "take a trip".....Perhaps the price wil drop in the future and the average person, like me, just may have a chance to do that before they die...

Very nice. I was surprised to run across this petition wh.gov/M5AG because I was recently learning about dark matter and how we can understand it and I also learned how important and helpful this would be. I'm going to go sign it and I think we all should.



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