Great news, guys. A company in North Korea has developed a cure for everything.
North Korea’s state-run news agency is reporting that Kumdang-2, a type of ginseng grown in “rare-earth molecular fertilizer” can “prevent different malignant epidemics.” The story was picked up in South Korea, which is currently experiencing a deadly outbreak of MERS (Middle East Respiratory Syndrome), which the makers of Kumdang-2 claim it can cure.
According to this website, just a simple injection of this compound can cure this vast array of diseases:
- Allergic skin diseases, Ambustion, Chilblain, Engorgement
- Cosmetic Effects
- Different kinds of inflammation, Fevers of unknown reasons, Loss of appetite
- Disorders before and after child-delivery
- Drug Addiction
- Epidemic diseases including Bird Flu and New Flu, AIDS
- Gastric hemorrhage, Stomach cramp, Diseases of large and small intestines
- Heart Diseases, Arthritis
- Hypotension, Impotence
- Infection, adhesion and scar after medical operation
- Liver disorders caused by alcohol
- Malignant influenza and other kinds of cold
- Medicinal poisoning, Harm from use of computers, Stomatitis
- Neuralgia, Neurosis, Debility, Insomnia
- Pancreatitis, Poisoning by perished food, Thyroid Diseases
- Polyps, Myalgia, Vegetative Neurosis
- Spontaneous Gangrene, Epilepsy
- Sterility caused by undergrowth, Menstrual disorders, Cystitis
- Stimulant to children’s growth, Anti-radioactive
- Treatment Hepatitis А, В, C, D, E, G
- Tuberculosis (ТВ), Uterine and other intestinal hemorrhages
- Various cancers
- Venereal diseases, Resistance to aging
Afraid of needles? Not a problem! Injecting this drug doesn’t even hurt. And it has NO ADVERSE SIDE EFFECTS! That is, unless you think getting rid of wrinkles and acne is a bad thing:
Hopefully we’ve made it clear that we are being 100% sarcastic. We couldn’t find any peer-reviewed studies from this team of so-called scientists, but there are bigger reasons to be skeptical. If a drug ever claims to cure a bunch of illnesses that are completely unrelated, your bulls**t detector should be blaring. It sucks, but a real-life wonder drug is probably never going to happen.
But wait, North Korea would never lie to us … right?
[Via the Guardian]