Cheap Artificial Hymens: the Easy Way to Revirginate

It only takes about 20 minutes after the last time you had sex to become a “virgin” again. That’s if you’ve shelled out $29 for the Artificial Virginity Hymen.

The product has been getting some press, after conservative Egyptian politicians said they want the product banned. They’re concerned that brides might use the product to fake their virginity, according to a report by the Associated Press.

The Chinese company Gigimo sells the artificial hymen online alongside an array of sex toys, which suggests that many users’ partners probably know full well that no one in the bedroom (or kitchen or wherever it may be) is a virgin, but just want to pretend. The website describes the product as a “soluble and expandable” pouch that’s placed in the vagina about 20 minutes before sex. It’s then supposed to leak a blood-looking liquid upon penetration. PS: They don’t ship directly to Egypt, so I guess you Egyptians out there will have to bring them across the Sudanese border.

Now let us take a moment to acknowledge a few key medical facts:
1) Not all virgins have intact hymens
2) Not all virgins bleed
3) Sorry, folks, there is nothing that can make you a virgin again.