The best bidet: Talk about a toilet upgrade

We searched from here to Uranus for the best bidets around, so step right up and pop a squat.

Politics, religion, bidets—all topics we’re meant to steer clear of at dinner parties. Luckily, we’re not at a dinner party, because there’s a lot to say about bidets! First fun fact: The word “bidet” comes from the French verb “bider,” or “to trot,” presumably because of how one straddles the device in order to use it. (“Bidet” as a noun in French can also mean “pony” or “horse.”) 

Bidets are commonplace in Europe, the Middle East, and Asia, and now the United States is finally catching on to the benefits of having a bathroom accessory specifically designed to cleanse our delicate parts with a soothing water spray. (Dual-nozzle design and other safeguards guarantee that the water fed into the bidet is clean and completely separate from the water already in the bowl.) Plus, they’re more effective and less abrasive than toilet paper. And the really great news is that whether you’re ready to spend a bundle on a tried-and-true Japanese model, you want to dip your toe (or nethers) in with an affordable attachment that fits over your toilet, or you’re looking for something in between, there’s a model that’s right for you. But hold your bidets: Do some research and figure out exactly what you want first.

How to find the best bidet for you and your budget 

So you’re on the hunt for the best bidet, only you have some questions about…how it all works. Using one is kind of like doing the Hokey Pokey. You put your front part in, you pull your front part out, you put your backside in, and you shake it all about. There are bidet seats, bidet sprayers, non-electric bidets—you name it, there’s a bidet for it. And the benefits are numerous. For one thing, you’ll use way less toilet paper. (And you get a much better clean with a strong gush of water than a few plies of paper.) For another, a splash of water feels great, and some fancy models even come with heating and musical features. And you know what? You’re worth it, no butts about it. 

Are you new to using a bidet? 

First of all, welcome! Second, the last thing you want is to get overwhelmed, so you need a model that gets the job done but doesn’t require a PhD to operate. A simple design that’s easy to install is key for newbies, as are detailed instructions and maybe even a video.

Start with a non-electric version, and if you find that you love it, you can upgrade to a more expensive, expansive high-tech model, like our next pick. 

Best pick for first timers: Veken Ultra-Slim Bidet

Easy to Clean

This ultra-slim model comes with three bumpers to provide space between the toilet and the seat, making sure everything stays dry. Amazon

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Even though it’s non-electrical, you can still adjust the water pressure and spray via a chrome-plated control dial. Bidets are often especially great for seniors and anyone with mobility issues, and the ultra-slim design makes this one particularly comfortable and accessible.

Go for a bidet seat with all the bells and whistles

Once you discover the wonders of a smart toilet, it may be hard to ever go anywhere else. Have you ever fought with a significant other or roommate who doesn’t put the toilet seat down? Perhaps consider one that lowers the seat automatically. Or sometimes you get down to business and realize you’re out of TP—what if you no longer needed TP? 

There’s a reason some smart toilets are so expensive, and you get what you pay for. If you’re looking to give your derriere the ride of its life, consider a fancy-schmancy option.

Best bidet if money is no object: TOTO NEOREST 

The Ultimate Smart Toilet Brand

Adjustable heated seat and spray position, and auto open-and-close lid function are just a couple of the features you get with this pretty ceramic-and-plastic model. Amazon

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Oh man, where to even begin. You get spray options—front, soft rear, rear, oscillating—along with different water warmth and volume choices. If you find a setup you like, just program it in and the toilet will be ready and waiting for you every time. There’s a nightlight for when you need the loo in the dark, an automatic air purifier, and a dual-flush option (for  No. 1 or No. 2) to conserve water. There’s a reason this baby’s seven grand. 

There are seats you can attach, or you can buy a smart toilet with a bidet

We’re all so used to…going…that sometimes we don’t even stop to consider that we could feel better, or even more secure, doing it. For example, have you ever thought about whether your toilet is the right height? Or have you ever had to fill up your toilet with water during a power outage (yuck)? 

A smart bidet can upgrade your current bathroom situation in ways you never imagined. Forget the comfy spot on the couch—before you know it, the fam will be fighting over who gets the toilet next. 

Best Kohler smart toilet with bidet: Kohler Veil Comfort

Ideal Height

This one is 2 inches taller than most conventional toilets, making it easier and less strenuous to sit and do your business. Amazon

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You get all the extras of the even-more-expensive Toto with this sculpture-like Kohler smart toilet—heated seat, night light, hands-free opening and closing, and automatic flush—plus a touchscreen remote and comfy 17-inch seating height. Perhaps the best part, an emergency backup flushing button, saves you in case of a power outage.

Add a bidet seat to your current toilet

If you want all the benefits of an electric bidet but don’t want to shell out thousands of bucks, consider a bidet seat. You just attach it to your toilet (as you would any other seat) and reap most of the same cleansing benefits of pricier models. A remote control lets you program your preferences and adjust them with just the touch of a button.

Assembly is simple enough with most seats, but be absolutely sure that the one you’re purchasing fits your current toilet. 

Best TOTO bidet seat: TOTO Electronic Bidet Toilet Seat

Works With the Toilet You Have

An air dryer and deodorizer, a self-cleaning wand, and an automatic seat dryer are just some of the benefits of this more affordable option from the No. 1 brand in smart toilets—plus, it has a remote! Amazon

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This bidet toilet seat senses your presence, which means it opens anytime you walk by. A pre-mist option assures that you have a clean bowl every time, and users report that it’s relatively quiet while it works. The remote lets you program personalized settings, with two user memories (in case you and another person using it have different preferences). 

Feature-packed toilet seat upgrade: Brondell Swash 1400 Luxury Bidet Toilet Seat

Strong Choice, Strong Spray

All the luxury features at a more affordable price point. You’ll love the heated seat during the colder months. Amazon

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Easy to install and a pleasure to live with, this option has tons of remote-controlled features—from a heated seat to a warm air dryer to a replaceable deodorizer. You can adjust the bidet settings for a hygienic and personalized bathroom experience. It comes with an illuminating nightlight and three-and-a-half foot power cord for convenient power. Pick a round or elongated design to best fit your toilet’s shape. The stainless steel nozzle is an aesthetic upgrade that other options on the market should think about adding. 

Find a bidet sprayer to go with your current setup

Get all the cleansing benefits of a high-tech toilet at a tiny fraction of the price. A sprayer boils down the bidet to its essential function: misting you with water. And not just you—it also makes cleaning the toilet itself a breeze, especially when you’ve got the pressure turned all the way up to 11.

Assembly is typically pretty easy, but as with all add-on toilet accessories, be absolutely sure that the sprayer you’re considering is compatible with your toilet before you buy. 

Best toilet and bidet sprayer: Handheld Bidet Sprayer 

Multiple Uses

This one has various pressure settings, and you can hook it up to your toilet tank or mount it elsewhere to clean your baby, your pet—even your car! Amazon

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You get a handheld stainless steel sprayer, sprayer holder, T-valve, and hose with this kit, and the pressure ranges from gentle to jet spray depending on your needs (and likes).

Best bidet on a budget: What you can get for under $40

You might sacrifice extras like warm water and a night light, but if all you’re after is a toilet paper–free cleansing experience, there’s no need to shell out major bucks on the best model.

A budget bidet attachment optimizes the hardware you’ve got in a low-tech but still effective way. You get most of the benefits but none of the expense. 

Best budget bidet: LUXE Bidet Neo 120

Skimp on Price, Not Quality

Even though this is a bargain, you still get high-pressure valves with metal-and-ceramic cores, and steel hoses instead of plastic. Amazon

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Once you assemble it (all parts and tools are included), you’re left with a bidet featuring a nozzle that automatically retracts beyond a guard gate after each use to prevent splashback and keep things hygienic. You can also easily adjust the water pressure with a dial. What you don’t get is a front-wash option, night light, auto on-off or open-close function, remote control, or oscillation options—but if you’ve already been living without these features, you won’t miss them too much.

More questions about narrowing down the best bidet

Can a bidet save you money?

Yes, a bidet can save you money! Think about how much you spend on toilet paper every year, then compare that with the price of the smart toilet or seat you’re considering. Models come in a wide range of price points, from over $5k to less than 100 bucks, so it depends on what model you’re considering, but in general, yes: Bidets are money savers. 

Are bidets better than toilet paper? 

Better is of course subjective, but there are definite benefits to forgoing TP for a bidet. For one thing, you’ll help the environment by saving paper (from the actual toilet paper as well as the cardboard roll). Plus, they can also clean more effectively, preventing UTIs, hemorrhoids, and other health issues. Finally, lots of people just like the feel of a bidet better than paper!

Will a bidet fit my toilet? 

It depends. Toilets come in two varieties, one-piece and two-piece. (The latter contains one part for the tank and one for the bowl.) If you have a two-piece, chances are much better that yours will fit, but you still need to check the specs and measure. One-piece toilets can also work with bidets, but they’re a trickier fit, so, again: measure, measure, measure. 

A final word on shopping for the best bidet

We know what you’re thinking: Now that you’ve read all that there is, you can’t believe you have to go use a regular toilet with regular toilet paper. You deserve the best bidet around, dang it! So will you go right for the Rolls-Royce of bathroom gear with a Toto bidet? Slowly acclimate your keister with a non-electric bidet? Go for something mid-range like a Kohler smart toilet? No matter what, get on it: no ifs, ands, or butts about it!

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