Situation: You're blasting down the highway when you notice something ominous in your rearview: a monster twister.
Solution: Your best bet is to take refuge in a permanent shelter, such as a basement. If you don't see one, get out of your car and lie low in the ditch next to the highway. If you have a few moments and a good wrench, you can improve your survival odds by anchoring yourself to the ground. Shimmy under your muffler and then locate and remove four U-bolts, usually found along the exhaust system. Return to the ditch, strip out of your shirt and pants, and use the wrench to pound the bolts through your sleeves and pant legs into the hard ground. Slide back into your clothes, and watch for flying cows.