As Bo Diddley once said, “you ain’t got to be on dope to be on a bad trip”–you just have to spend a moment contemplating cyborg Dick Cheney without a pulse. But wow, those obscure hallucinogens now being used to successfully treat addiction sure aren’t helping either.

These are but two of our favorite stories this week from the future.

Here are the rest:

Leave a comment (any comment) to put your name in the pile; we’ll randomly choose and announce our winner right here. And, if you just can’t wait that long, you can buy the shirt for yourself here. Good luck!

Until next time, enjoy our past weekly illustrated roundups here.