The day will come, and come soon, when we will control our entire domestic lives with a phone. We will turn the lights on and off, we will change the temperature to the precise level we desire, we will cook our dinners and make our beds and brew our coffee and close our blinds and feed our pets with a tap and a swipe. We can do most of that now, in fact, though it’s kind of expensive and cobbled-together to implement.
A good step forward is the new Satis toilets from Lixil, which connects to an Android smartphone via Bluetooth so you can tell it to do all those amazing things Japanese toilets can do. Tap to extend the oddly phallic bidet hose. Scroll to lift the toilet seat or flush. Select your favorite song to play it through the toilet’s stereo, because the toilet has a stereo.
Perhaps the weirdest feature is that “you can set up a ‘toilet diary’ to monitor your visits to the can and check on your health,” according to JapanTrends, which adds that it includes “cute euphemistic symbols for what you managed to achieve on different days.” Not sure exactly how cute a symbol could be for what I personally “achieve” on the toilet, but I’m glad someone’s trying! The toilet should be released in February of next year.