The oldest cheese has been found, and if you happen to be eating cheese right now, I suggest you pause, because this next sentence is gross: The cheese, from 1615 BC, was discovered in clumps on the necks and chests of mummies.
USA Today reports that the cheese aficionados were a Bronze Age people who buried their own under wood boats wrapped tightly with cowhide, creating a vacuum-packed effect better than any Ziplock bag. The mummies were pulled out of Small River Cemetery Number 5 located in the expansive Taklamakan Desert of northwestern China. Dry desert air and salty soil preserved the cheese and kept it from decaying.
The cheese was made by combining milk with a starter mixture made up of bacteria and yeast. This process differs from the present-day routine of using rennet, a substance from the guts of calf, lamb, or kid, to make cheese.
Now the real question: Which crackers and wine do we get?