The Most WTF Things We Saw At CES 2014

Breakdancing taxidermy, a cyborg twerking machine, and more of the most whyyyy stuff from this year's Consumer Electronics Show

The Consumer Electronics Show is home to the technology of the future, the stuff we'll be using tomorrow, here today. But with so many companies all vying for precious attention, it's also home to acid-fueled techno-horrors out of some terrible, warped, tragicomic sci-fi novel.

We've gathered those here! Enjoy.

Breakdancing Squirrels

What says "future of consumer electronics" quite like a set of breakdancing taxidermied squirrels? Nothing. Put some motors in these things and have them Gangnam Style for Scion commercials.Amber Williams

Robotic Butt-Shaker

This had signs nearby advertising both weight loss and back pain relief but also a chart that showed genealogies of butt-shaking (???). We're just going to call it a cyborg twerking machine.Colin Lecher

A Giant Washing Machine

This is what God uses when he spills ambrosia all over his nice white robe.Amber Williams

NBA Flash Drives

Attention sports fans: With Adata's NBA licensed flash drives, you can carry your files around in the limbless, headless torso of your favorite player.Matt Safford

Apocalypse Car

Subtle? No. But you know what else isn't subtle? The unfettered hordes of the zombie apocalypse. That's what, cowboy.Amber Williams

'80s Phone

This is a 1980s-inspired phone that connects to your smartphone. Because the best things about the '80s were the technology and the design sensibility. It presumably can only ring with Van Halen.Colin Lecher

Singing Animals

When we happened upon this row of animatronic animals, they were grooving and lip syncing to "Love Shack." Thank God they're all bipedal mutants or that would've been weird.Corinne Iozzio

Hookah

There was a hookah. "A high-tech hookah?" you ask, exhausted. Nope.Corinne Iozzio