The Segway Personal Transporter is nearing its sixth birthday this year, and the Onion News Network convened a panel of, ummmm, experts to discuss its impact. Though it’s not really fair to give up yet on the Segway, billed as a planet-saving revolution in transportation but viewed by many as an overpriced toy, it obviously hasn’t fulfilled all that initial hype. The Onion’s absurdly satirical take is so wonderfully overdone that I’m not sure the main brain behind the Segway, Dean Kamen, would even be offended. One commentator recalls how he was fashioning a set of wheels to a pogo stick when he looked up, saw a Segway, and said, That’s what I want!—Gregory Mone