For Hardcore Geeks Only

You’ve seen The Jerk, right? If not, we suggest you load that bad boy into your Netflix queue, pronto. In this 1979 classic, Steve Martin plays Navin R. Johnson, an idiot-turned-inventor-turned-idiot who develops the “Opti-grab,” a nose bridge that keeps eyeglasses from slipping off your face. The gizmo sells like hotcakes until it starts making people cross-eyed and ugly. So, um, fast-forward to 2006. Recently, two would-be Navins came up with their own version of the Opti-grap: Pierced Glasses. Simply jam a magnetic barbell through the skin on the bridge of your nose, attach magnets to your eyeglass lenses and, presto, you have frameless eyewear—and a recipe for really bad headaches. This, like the live cockroach brooches I reported on earlier, is sure to be a hit with punks and Goth kids. Maybe I should change my title to PopSci accessories editor—might score more swag that way. —Nicole Dyer