A horse was euthanized this past weekend on the hallowed track of the Kentucky Derby. Eight Belles ran the race of her life, finishing second. But, just steps past the finish line the filly snapped both her ankles and crumbled to the dirt. Veterinarians on site promptly decided to euthanize the horse—on the racetrack—with just a few trucks and an appropriately placed oversized derby hat shielding the more than 150,000 spectators (NBC wisely did not show footage of the horse).

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Used to be, when I answered my phone at work, I didn't know what to expect. A college frat boy wanting to build the world's largest beer bong. Ashrita Furman, a guy from Brooklyn planning to break the marathon unicycle-riding record for the greater glory of his spiritual leader, Sri Chinmoy. A woman who had toilet-trained her chameleon. I was the associate American editor for the Guinness Book of World Records, and point man in the U.S. for would-be record-breakers.

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You heard the hype, you read the astonishing array of perfect-score online reviews. So you bought a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV, sat down to play and . . . what's going on here? How can a perfect game be ticking you off? I'm not saying that GTA IV is less than amazing, but it most definitely is less than perfect, particularly if you're not one of the professional gamers writing those frothing-at-the-mouth-with-delight reviews. Some of the most basic elements in the game are just plain aggravating.

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When it comes to sports, Patrick Thorensen nearly redefined the term sacrifice. In successfully sliding across the ice to block a shot in a recent playoff game, the left wing for the Philadelphia Flyers came close to losing a testicle. Adding insult to the near ultimate injury, the Washington Capitals scored on a rebound while Thorensen rolled in agony (and grown men cried themselves to sleep). The 24-year old was rushed to the hospital and underwent two ultrasound tests to ensure there was no “rupture.”

So, while Thorensen has a dented cup to thank for his manhood, it begs the question: what more can science do to protect our cajones? A quick Google of ‘protective cups’ provides a range of sizes and colors available from $8 to $25, none differing greatly from the cups our fathers (and fathers' fathers?) have donned for years. With a tank of gas at $50, isn’t the male population willing to splurge a bit on reproductive life insurance?

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An apple a day might keep away more than the doctor. HortResearch, a New Zealand company with 400 scientists studying all things fruit, has early data that suggests a specific (mystery) fruit can delay fatigue by 20 percent and increase muscle power by 70 percent. But don't raid the produce aisle quite yet. Hort won't say which fruit has shown the benefits and also notes their version is a variety bred internally for the right compound interactions. In other words, for those of use not lucky enough to be Hort test subjects, it doesn't exist.

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