But fear not Red Sox Nation and Marlin fan! We've concocted an ingenious plan that will save baseball from its masochistic ways. Before PopSci rescues America’s Pastime, it’s important to detail the current plan so we might strip it naked and expose the deficiencies.
To start with, any attempt to implement by August 1, though seemingly noble and proactive, is in truth both naïve and shortsighted. If baseball had listened to its GMs, who voted 25-5 in November in favor of replay, they could’ve designed a system in the off season, tested it in the meaningless preseason and had the entire never-ending regular season to ensure there wasn’t an October surprise. Instead they’ll implement an untested formula and pray the Emergency Broadcast System doesn’t screw it all up.The second elementary mistake is limiting reviews to home runs. Once you concede that television has better eyesight than your umpires, ignoring a blown call at the plate is that much more egregious. Tennis doesn’t just review first serves. Football looks at more than touchdowns. And soccer, well Americans hate soccer, so lets not take any cues from them. Commissioner Bud Selig will likely sob about retaining the purity of the game and babble about the sanctity of human error. Give it up Bud. It’s over. The first time your umpire hits rewind he’s completely soiled the innocence of subjective simplicity in exchange for the sophistication of getting it right. Pandora’s box is open, and fans and players alike know exactly what’s inside.
Finally, removing the review power from the home plate umpire is downright dumb, stupid and idiotic (perhaps, I’ve gone too far). Neutering the replay ump into a powerless interpreter warrants congressional intervention (again).
Now, nobody likes a crying baby who won’t say if he’s hungry or needs his diaper changed. So below we’ve provided Selig and his gang a pitch-by-pitch breakdown of a fair system that might just rival the excitement of the seventh inning stretch.single page
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