Dept. Gray Matter
Element: Bismuth
Project: Making crystals
Time: 30 minutes
Cost: $20
Dabbler | | | | | Master

Dept.: Maxed Out
Tech: Sony Ericsson P910 PDA cellphone
Base Cost: $800
Total Cost: $1,694
Steal | | | | | Splurge

Dept.: Void Your Warranty
Tech: Bluetooth antenna
Base Cost: $85
Time: 30 minutes
Dabbler | | | | | Master

Dept.: Geek Guide
Tech: Home security and automation
Cost: $80 to several thousand dollars
Time: One hour to several days

Beta | | | | | Final

Certainly, studying worm parasites isn’t nearly as bad as playing host to them. But here’s an essential distinction:
The medicos who go into this line—God bless ’em—do it by choice. Supported by the World Health Organization and various international charities, they travel to the tropics to eradicate diseases that afflict millions of people. Yet although we’re regularly treated to tales of Ebola warriors, we rarely hear about the tribulations of the worm docs.

“Most people go to veterinary school because they love animals,” says Colorado State University vet David Neil. “But then a very interesting transition takes place if you go into lab work”—which is what most research-minded veterinarians aspire to do rather than spend their professional lives flea-dipping the local Lassies and Garfields.

Geology major Michael Harkleroad took the bait hook, line and stinker . . . er, sinker. He’d
spend his summer break from college doing geological field tests on water and soil to make sure that hazardous chemicals weren’t escaping from
an old landfill. Real-world science research to trumpet on his rsum! What he wasn’t prepared for was just how bad the Bakersfield, California, landfill would smell in the 100�F heat of summer. Thousands of tons of decades-old garbage was breaking down and leaching a liquid

The cradle of civilization and agriculture. The first place humans built cities. The birthplace of writing. And—oh, yeah—currently the best place in the world to get yourself kidnapped or killed. For archaeologists, there’s no plum like Iraq. Saddam actually let them do their job, and he even protected his country’s heritage in museums. But now no archaeologist can work in Iraq until security improves. Meanwhile more than 8,500 treasures have been stolen, and those are just from museums, where artifacts are cataloged.

In our Internet-based summons for readers to top (bottom?) last year’s “Worst Jobs” list, nurses nominated themselves in droves: “Still a no-respect profession. Doctors treat you like slaves.” “The pay is substandard for all the training.” “Just look at the current shortage.” Indeed, the
government estimates that we’re short 110,000 nurses, and that by 2008 we’ll need half a million more.

Go to remote, densely overgrown forest. Take out giant white corduroy sheet. Drag it behind you as you sing loudly to ward off bears. After 20 meters, stop. Do not tarry to smack mosquitoes, for you must immediately tweezer
several hundred tiny, potentially Lyme diseasecarrying ticks that have covered both you and your white cloth, and drop them into a jar. Repeat 50 times a day.