Fans of The Colbert Report turn out to be even geekier than we thought

International Space Station Node 3 Wikimedia Commons

No longer content with simply having bridges and minor league hockey mascots named after him, Stephen Colbert has taken his quest for domination beyond the stratosphere. The results from NASA’s contest to name Node 3, a new International Space Station module, are in. The write-in winner? “Colbert.”

NASA presented voters with four possible choices, starting with Serenity (which earned 70 percent of the traditional votes), to appease the many Joss Whedon fans over at mission control, and following with the less attention-grabbing names Earthrise, Legacy and Venture. In what turned out to be their critical error, something NASA knows a thing or two about, they added the possibility of a write-in vote.

Honestly, after what happened with the Megyeri Bridge, NASA should have realized that anytime someone lets the sweaty, rage-prone, vitamin-D deficient hordes of the Internet name something, it is going to end up named after either Stephen Colbert or a non-reproductive sex act.

Over at the PPX, Popsci.com created a pro-Firefly proposition to honor the contest. But sadly, our endorsement couldn’t balance out the relentless voting power of the Colbert Constituency.

Of course, NASA reserves the right to name the module whatever they want, and they may not want to name a multi-billion dollar piece of equipment after a television comedian. Instead, they might name it after a television dramedy. This is your tax dollars at work. Can’t we all just agree that the NASA module should be named after something from the Simpsons? I vote for “inanimate carbon rod.”

Popsci-ers, I’m interested in your opinion. Tell us in the comments section what you would name the module if you had the chance. Battle school? Daedalus? Fireball XL5? Fire away, and let’s show those Colbert losers what’s what!

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14 Comments

TheBangTail

from Bay City, MI

My top two choices would have to be "Iron Giant's Gallbladder" and "Communism".

I believe that both names truly help convey the reality that this new addition will fill a convenient role for the International Space Station. These names also help demonstrate that the service to be performed is not necessarily necessary, as both the world and the giant contraption of war and life lessons that is the Iron Giant (both allusions to the international space station) can productively exist in a normal capacity without either communism or a gallbladder (which are allusions to the new module).

Take that, Steve!

Cuishi14

from avondale , az

Go Colbert! Even though battle school is a good name i think "battle room" wuld fit better, or "G-Tube"

I think Colbert is an awesome name for NASAs module. I dont see why it would be bad thing that the module was named after him instead of some sci-fi series thing, I mean Colbert has been for the past few years on worlds most influential lists, and ranked pretty high this year. And I gave my vote to the name Colbert.

bdhoro87

from coral gables, fl

Colbert is the best name.

Reason:
It is the only name the justly illustrates how ridiculous this whole idea is. NASA should be comprised of some of the most imaginative and smartest people out there, who have to make some of the toughest decisions anybody needs to make, yet they can't decide for themselves what this thing should be called. Why does this thing even need a name? Is node 3 not sufficient? It's not like a pet or a person, I don't think it will respond when you call it by name.

For a Node that is basically a bathroom, what more fitting name could there be than Colbert.
Maybe a hundred or 2 years from now all bathrooms in space will be known as "The Colbert".

Eggman002 (not verified)

You would think since you claim that Popsci is "Pro Firefly" you would at least know that it is Joss Whedon, not Joss Wheaton.

Colbert is a stupid name. Why? Because his ego is large enough already (or at least the ego of his TV personality). Though I suppose perhaps it has grown to large to fit on the planet and they had to move part of it in to space. So maybe it is appropriate.

@ Eggman002: Thanks for the typo catch. I also agree with you that Colbert has enough things named after him. How about the Jon Stewart module? Give some love to the man who started it all! Although maybe that would mean calling it "Kilborn"...

Colbert is just lame shoulda named it something cool like Xenu.

I'm thinking of something along the lines of "Battlemodule Galactica". After all, they named one of the shuttles Enterprise.

Of course, calling something a battlemodule may be a bit aggressive for NASA's liking, but they need something to hold against the bad-ass shotgun that the Russians carry on Soyuz. Especially since the NASA pride is going to take a hit from having to beg rides for the next five years...

I checked out the NASA voting website. It looks as though NASA has not yet declared the winner, and although Colbert was at the top of the "suggestions" list, it did not specifically say that it was a rank order list nor did it say exactly how many votes Colbert received in comparison to any of the pre-selected name options.

Even if Colbert received the most votes, NASA specifically stated in the contest rules that NASA reserves the right to make the final decision. In other words, the voting system is more to let the public express their opinion than to outrightly determine the name.

All in all, the pod will probably be named Serenity, because it more closely matches the names of other portions of the station, such as Unity, Harmony, and Hope. This was NASA's stated wish. The contest was more to give the public a feeling of inclusion that would inspire greater personal investment of the general (voting) population.

Dang, I was totally rooting for Serenity.

I know I am rehashing an old topic but couldnt let this comment rest.

[quote]vankrugermeer: I'm thinking of something along the lines of "Battlemodule Galactica". After all, they named one of the shuttles Enterprise.[/quote]

i would hope that you realize that naming the shuttle Enterprise had nothing to do with Star Trek. In fact Star Trek named their vessel Enterprise after the US Naval tradition of naming important vessels Enterprise. This tradition of the name Enterprise started during the U.S. revolution and reached its zenith with the WW2 ACC vessel of the same name. Because of the success and legendary status of the WW2 vessel they named the 1961 flagship super-carrier the Enterprise class and from this comes the reasoning for not only naming the Star Trek vessel Enterprise but also the naming of several things of naval importance over the years since. When the current Enterprise is decommed I would not be surprised if they renamed another vessel Enterprise out of respect and Reverence. Wikipedia has a nice article on the first USS Enterprise if your interested.

Halaxis

from Princton, MA

Colbert,after all the sci-fi or predictable names like Earthrise, Legacy and Venture. Colbert would be nice to add on.
Or Bungie,it will further their goals of world domination. Which is good.

SilentStrike186

from Ridgely, Marlyland

I think the name should either be "Colbert" or "AeroForceOne"



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