"The plot is hysterical in both senses of the word, at the same time. Things are always happening, and there is always a blast door that must be shut on penalty of galactic holocaust, and there is a guy with evil intentions for humanity named THE DIDACT who looks like a dad in a bad Predator costume, but THE DIDACT may actually have understandably evil intentions for humanity, and your top-heavy computer program sidekick is going crazy, which for her means sometimes getting a bit sassy and turning red, which makes me wonder if I am going crazy, because I sometimes get a bit sassy and turn red, and even though you are eight feet tall and have repeatedly saved the world you have not received a promotion and no one trusts your instincts, and also your first name is John. John Master Chief."
So goes this excellent review of Halo 4 by friend of PopSci (and, um, roommate of me) Joe Bernstein over at Kill Screen. Read it, it's the tops.
This review reminds me of the video on Youtube where they ask a 5 year old to explain the plot of the full Starwars saga (though this kid is decidedly more cynical). Not sure I would call this the best review of Halo 4.
The author seems to have an unusually difficult time understanding the plot (which the game more or less walks you through while holding your hand). Yes, there are a lot of plot twists and characters that would be much less mysterious to someone that knows the back story of the halo universe and has read the books. But I would contend that those who aren't in the know can better appreciate the story telling, considering that the moments that should be shock and awe for the player are just a bland statement of a known truth to the well versed Halo fan. Would the revelation (continuing the Starwars theme above) that Vader is Luke's father have been anywhere near as epic if you knew that before hand?
The thing to remember is that you're supposed to be experiencing the game through the eyes of your player; in this case, John-117. Chief doesn't know Cortana is going crazy, or why. so why should you have? Chief didn't know who the Didact was, or what his intentions were. Why should you have?
You can make any video game's plot, especially those in the science fiction realm, sounds ridiculous if you make no honest attempt to explain the plot, and instead outline it verbatim with over simplifications. Not much unlike the recent PopSci post explaining the Saturn V in only the most used words in the english language.
It really just a movie about a kid who finds a flamboyant yellow man and a beeping trashcan, who are wanted by a black armored space nazi that flies around in a big triangle because they have a video of a lady with Cinabons on her head and drawings of the exhaust pipe of the nazi's space ball that blows planets up. A creepy old mountain man with mind powers then gives the kid a laser pointer and tells him he has super powers too, and that the space nazi is the guy who killed his dad (but is also his dad). Then they fly away with a drug runner and big foot and get caught by the big space ball, which also happens to be the castle that the cinabon princess is in. Then they escape and bring the princess to her friends and they all blow up the space ball.
Such a hysterical story...
+1 internets to you @iambronco
In other news this guy obviously doesn't know what he is talking about. Pretty sure almost all of the most reputable Gaming websites and magazines etc. have rated this one of the best games this year. After playing through it I can see where they are comming from.
Bad review is bad, and you should feel bad.
Disrespecting my favourite game franchise huh? I don't think I'll be renewing my Popsci subscription.
Assuming that UNSC has a similar rank struture for its navy to the USN, Master Chief would be the top rank he can achieve as a career door kicker. Not a very good review.
Yeah, he can't get promotions due to already being the highest rank possible in their hierarchy, which he has been since well before the first game. I haven't used this account in like 4 years, but I thought I'd sign in for once to hopefully clear that up for the author. Definitely the best review I've ever read.
This is by far the worst review for ANY Halo game I had the displeasure of reading. Clearly, the reviewer has not done their homework. Halo: Combat Evolved revolutionized the first player shooter genre. Now, Halo 4 includes new features and game play that has not been seen in the Halo universe. These features (Spec Ops, level up rewards) create a more enriching story. This reviewer has no knowledge of the Halo franchise.
By the way, Master Chief has no real first name or last name. Master Chief is his rank. John is used to show gender, like say "John Smith" as a generic male name. This shows the lack of knowledge of the reviewer has of the game.
Well congrats PopSci. Your most ignorant and least respected writer has finally forced me to make an account. One simply does not show up and give a bad review to the latest game in most likely the most popular gaming franchise, the same game that has been called the game of the year on many websites that have writers that are actually informed about games and who's opinions are actually respected. This man shows a severe lack of knowledge of the subject and quite possibly an inferiority complex as evidenced by his attitude in previous articles which suggests a need for recognition and superiority over someone or something. PopSci, I will be writing and submitting my dog's resume so you can hopefully find someone with a little more intelligence to replace this man. Some basic info about said dog: male, no signs of an inferiority complex, average intelligence (for a dog that is), and loves treats although does not know what to do with them. All in all a reasonable replacement for Mr. Nosowitz.
And @tickjona, not to be rude but John is his real name not just a generic name given to show gender just as Fred, Kelly, and Linda are the real names of Spartans 104, 087, and 058 respectively.
Thanks, was just about to make that correction. Saved me the trouble.
Popsci after reading all these comments please remove this article. It is a complete disgrace to the popsci website as it shows what bad references you guys have. I have read most of the books and played/ own all of the games and myself plus these other people who comment can vouch that this article is complete garbage. Sorry to the person who wrote it but they must be a Call of Duty fan who wanted to bring Halo down a notch or something.
I, too, created an account just to comment on this. The use of hyperbole to over-simplify a plot for humor is very common. Obviously, this wasn't intended to be a serious review. As with anything labeled "the best," it may be wise to take it with a grain of salt... OR maybe the art of satire is just lost on some people.
In other words. Ya'll got trolled.
I think this article did exactly what it was spsta do, got 5 ppl boiled up enought to actually create an account just to comment. he he he.
I soooooooooo like Halo!
Actually @NikoliBorealis, if you read any other articles written by this writer you will see that he's just a joke of a writer. He has no worthwhile articles. All of his are about very insignificant things that honestly don't belong in a science magazine. I'm not getting mad about his review, simply pointing out that he is damaging the reputation of an otherwise very good science magazine and as you can see from other comments on this article and others written by him I am not alone in that belief.
This writer is a complete tool. All his articles are extremely biased in many different respects. I've noticed mostly liberally biased but now that I know he is a Halo hater, I lost all respect I had for him. He finally pushed me over the edge today with his wolves article and forced me to create an account so I could comment on his stupidity.