Until it went on sale last November, Microsoft's Zune was heralded as the first true iPod-killer. But with its overly aggressive copyright protection and the odd, self-imposed limits to its most innovative features (like built-in Wi-Fi), it has so far failed to make even a dent in the iPod's shiny white-and-chrome armor. It's likely the Zune will improve with version 2.0 and beyond, but until then, here are three easy Zune tune-ups to ease the pain of waiting for a better model.

As the Zune, Microsoft’s ham-handed entry into the handheld media arena, nears the lowly peak of its popularity, we’ve been wondering: Why is it that the thing fails to please? Is it the incompatibility of our iTunes-purchased music? The fact that the wireless peer-to-peer feature erases shared media after three short days? Perhaps it’s the unattractive shade of brown that some self-important design studio convinced Microsoft would outshine the iPod?

Or is it the name? Neither masculine nor feminine, active nor passive, verb nor noun, the coinage “Zune” achieves a mystical feat. It sounds historical, it’s easily memorized, and it’s utterly undignified. Hebrew-speakers may even recognize its aural similarity to a certain unholy curse word.

So perhaps it's appropriate that it be the moniker slapped on the year’s most disappointing product. We’re thinking “zune” could become the year’s next nonsensical Gen-Y slang word [think “huck” (verb) or “bunk” (adjective)]. Without further ado, then, our Letterman-style Top 10 list of ways to make better use of the word “zune.” —Jake Ward

10. Yo, don't zune that spliff, man. Pass it arrrround.

  9. That’s when I told my boss to go zune himself.

  8. No matter how much cream I apply, my zunes just won’t go away.

  7. It’s not the way the suit is cut—it’s the way the fabric zunes against my skin.

  6. Listen, pal, in a few keystrokes I could zune your credit history to the point where you couldn’t  buy a sandwich.

  5. I tried to hit that 780-twist off the halfpipe, but I, like, totally zuned the landing.

  4. Uh-huh—that hot girl in the red dress over there? I zuned her.

  3. I said what? Well, you know, I was pretty zuned at the holiday office party.

  2. I think I just zuned in my mouth a little bit.

  1. I was trying to jump over that parking meter, but I zuned myself in the Wii.

Longtime PopSci contributing editor Phil Torrone would like to give your gadget a tattoo. Torrone, who also runs the  Make blog, and his pal Limor Fried just announced their new NYC-based laser-etching business, Adafruit.

What the heck is laser etching? Basically, it's a way of using a very fine-point laser to literally vaporize away a superthin layer of material from a surface, such as the back of your Powerbook ($100) or iPod ($30). Like your grandpa's Navy tat, it's permanent and monochrome, but because the laser is so precise, you can get finely detailed images and even simulate shading

and gradients. Bring in your own image file, and they'll load it up and burn away.

The coolest part about Torrone's business is that it's all open source:
following the belief that nothing is as innovative as a large, cooperative
community of active participants, he and Fried will make available every bit
of their business plan, from finances to operations, in order to help others
start their own businesses. When you come to their store (etchings are by
appointment only in New York), they'll explain to you how the etching is
done and how you could do it yourself. They even let you push the "go" button.

In the years I've known Phil, he's consistently told me about the next hot
thing (podcasts, online video sharing, Second Life, Roomba cockfighting) a
year or more before anyone else. I'm not sure if laser etching is going to
sweep the malls of middle America, but I'd bet the cost of an etched Zune
that this isn't the last open-source business we see. --Mike Haney