stealth threat

According to a report in Englands Daily Mail, Limey soldiers will soon begin skydiving into war zones wearing carbon-fiber stealth wings fitted with mini turbojets that allow them to cruise up to 125 miles—literally under the radar—into enemy territories, at speeds of up to 140mph (!). Theyll do all this after jumping from planes at 27,000 feet, while carrying a couple hundred pounds of equipment on their backs. Whoa. My first thought was that once they land, these guys are going to look superdorky walking around with big, awkward airplane wings strapped to their backs. My second thought was that a fleet of 300-pound dudes in black bat suits speeding through the sky sounds terrifying, like the creepiest possible real-life version of the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz. My third thought was: Could I jump off the roof of my building and commute to work in one of these getups? How do I get one? —Megan Miller

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Driving home from work, you suddenly remember that a few of the T-ball kids are supposed to come over after the game. Should you pick up a couple of pizzas on your way? You pull out your cellular phone and call home to check.