You heard the hype, you read the astonishing array of perfect-score online reviews. So you bought a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV, sat down to play and . . . what's going on here? How can a perfect game be ticking you off? I'm not saying that GTA IV is less than amazing, but it most definitely is less than perfect, particularly if you're not one of the professional gamers writing those frothing-at-the-mouth-with-delight reviews. Some of the most basic elements in the game are just plain aggravating.

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Used to be, when I answered my phone at work, I didn't know what to expect. A college frat boy wanting to build the world's largest beer bong. Ashrita Furman, a guy from Brooklyn planning to break the marathon unicycle-riding record for the greater glory of his spiritual leader, Sri Chinmoy. A woman who had toilet-trained her chameleon. I was the associate American editor for the Guinness Book of World Records, and point man in the U.S. for would-be record-breakers.

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