clump

Over the years, your key chain has become a custodial clump of assorted accessories and unidentified house, locker and car keys. Time to free up some ringside real estate and make room for the latest key-chain gadgets. Careful, though-losing your keys has never been quite so expensive.

Six months ago, Dr. Jeffrey Epstein performed upon me a "follicular unit transplant"-that is, he extracted a clump of 1,923 hair follicles from the back of my head and grafted them, one by one, to the front (we left a bald spot on top). He also used a high-tech anesthetic wand to forestall pain and swelling (Firsthand, Nov. '01). The successful result you can see for yourself. The bad news: At $8,000, it ain't cheap. For details, see www.foundhair.com.