Perusing the deluge of overheated press releases from the CES conference a few weeks ago, one in particular, for Panasonic’s new line of EVOLTA batteries, got me thinking. And when I say “thinking,” I mean muttering curse words and shaking my fist. The release made a big deal about the fact that these new batteries last from 1.3 to 2 times as long as other alkaline batteries—which is to say, slightly less poisonous and wasteful, but not much. Whoopdee-flipping-doo.