alien robot

11.29.09

The Real Reason Behind the Raptor's Price Tag?

By Gregory Mone Posted 07.05.2007 at 12:30 pm 6 Comments

OK, so even though there's still some secrecy surrounding the F-22 Raptor, it's safe to say that contrary to what we see in the new movie Transformers, it can't turn into a giant anthropomorphic robot capable of swinging between city buildings like a monkey, then switching back in mid-air into an advanced fighter jet. For the estimated $300 million-plus the U.S. Air Force is paying for the first round of Raptors, though, we sort of think it should. Clearly the moviemakers think highly of the Raptor: According to the Transformers Web site, the alien robot Starscream chooses to resemble the F-22 because it's the pinnacle of human technical achievement. And, you know, morphing into an iPhone wouldnt really be all that intimidating.—Gregory Mone

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Mars Mission Foiled by Alien Robot

By Gregory Mone Posted 06.29.2007 at 2:56 pm 1 Comment

This has got to be the best excuse for a failed space mission ever. The European Space Agency’s Beagle 2, which was set to explore the surface of Mars around the same time as NASA’s Spirit and Opportunity, never managed to dispatch a byte of data from the Red Planet. The probe was last seen a week before its planned landing in December, 2003 – unless we’re to believe a preview of the new film Transformers. What really happened, according to Hollywood? Why, poor little Beagle was crushed by a giant alien robot, of course. Its last transmission, sent from the surface, shows one of the enormous Transformers punching the helpless robot into scrap metal.

While we love this fictional scenario, we doubt ESA would have been able to keep details of such a transmission classified. Not while Spirit and Opportunity were grabbing headlines worldwide in their search for signs of water and life. With the folks at NASA boasting about sulfates, one of the Brits surely would have been tempted to counter, “Yes, but we found intelligent life forms that assume the shape of popular American vehicles.” Top that, NASA.—Gregory Mone