Science Confirms the Obvious

A new public health study released just in time for Global Handwashing Day (today!) offers not one but two gems of Science-Confirms-the-Obvious wisdom. Firstly: the gee-whizzer that men have poorer personal hygiene than women. Secondly, that people are more likely to wash their hands when others are watching.

Overeating makes you overweight. I'll pause for a moment to let this mind-blowing scientific finding sink in.

In the annals of Science Confirms the Obvious, there's rarely a zinger like this one. And it's no surprise that the media's had a field day, churning out Onion-esque headlines like, well, the one above.

Investigators at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research have unequivocally demonstrated that our parents often get on our nerves -- and we on theirs. "The parent-child relationship is one of the longest-lasting social ties human beings establish," said Kira Birditt, the study's lead. "This tie is often highly positive and supportive but it also commonly includes feelings of irritation, tension and ambivalence."

At the first-ever Ironman triathlon in 1978, the 15 competitors read these instructions in the race guidelines: "Swim 2.4 miles! Bike 112 miles! Run 26.2 miles! Brag for the rest of your life!" Well, sure -- unless you die trying. A study presented Saturday at a meeting of the American College of Cardiology shows that the grueling triad of events is indeed particularly strenuous, with a risk of sudden death twice that of marathons.

Think back to your college years. Did you spend more time at the lab bench than at the bar? Was getting a date harder than organic chem? If you carried protection was it for your pocket? We thought so.

A smile is infectious, as the saying goes, and now scientists have proven it. In spades. A study published today in British Medical Journal shows that happiness acts like a blessed disease: it can spread from person to person through social channels. On average, the study finds, every happy friend increases your own chance of being happy by 9 percent.

I challenge you: Name one fact you still remember from the last test for which you crammed.

Anyone? Any fact?

Mom always knows best, and now there's scientific research to back her up. A recent study at the University of Minnesota show a direct correlation between certain negative behaviors--such as excessive drinking, stress, and gambling--and grade point averages. And, you guessed it, those with the highest grade point averages tended not to be those students coming off of all night benders.

Trouble with instructions? You’re not alone. Researchers at the University of Michigan have confirmed that difficult-to-read instructions dissuade people from embarking on tasks, and impart a suspicion in their readers that the task at hand will be difficult. As far as I’m concerned, this is major vindication.

Give a four-year-old a marshmallow, and she’ll eat it, no hesitation. Unless she’s promised a second if she waits 15 minutes before eating the first. Stanford psychologist Walter Mischel tested the ability of kids to delay gratification in this way in the 1960’s. Behind the one-way mirror, Mischel noticed that some kids—I’ll call them the planners—might squirm and sniff and squeeze the prize but ultimately managed to resist temptation. Others could not. They gobbled right away.